The Princess Fusion

It finally hit me today: I’ve become sure of myself and that I am supposed to live in Paris. I didn’t realize that I had truly “evolved” until this afternoon when I met up with some of my friends from college. After a few hours I was in shock. I felt that there was nothing that I had in common with them anymore. Don’t get me wrong, they are great people. They’re nice and love to travel. We have similar core values and have bonded over the tribulations of school together. But something was different. No matter how many college parties we have been together or study sessions we endured, I felt disconnected from my college friends.

I had been talking to one of my friends in the program about feeling this way earlier this week. I’ve been worried about feeling different for the past two weeks before my parents came. His parents had just left and he explained to me that he too, had evolved and that his parents had noticed that he had become a different person.

So maybe this act of getting together with my college friends solidified the fact that I’m not meant to live in the Midwest. I just didn’t know though that I would feel so strongly about this. I’m Parisian, and I even introduced myself today as one with ease. Yes, I am an American in Paris, but I have never felt more sure in my life that I am meant to live here in this city until now.

Long story short, I bolted out as fast as possible. Which isn’t the kindest thing to do. But a part of me felt as if I was a burden to the group. I was a different person. And I didn’t want to hold them back from seeing Paris in the eyes of well….a tourist.

Last night I made a pact. After a wine bottle had been opened, I was sitting with my friends on my balcony overlooking the Eiffel tower and we swore that we would be back as roommates here next year. I full heartedly believe this will happen and can’t see myself living anywhere else in the world.

I thought that I wouldn’t be able to make friends or create connections in this town. Sure, studying abroad has created a somewhat “fake” community for me to live it, but it has made me realize that even in a new environment I can overcome my awkward phase and make real friendships that I believe in my heart will last a lifetime. Cheesy I know. But it’s how I feel deep down to my core. I’m meant to live here in Paris, France. And I’m not going to settle for anywhere else.

Until next time,

Like many women, I'm TV, movies, shopping, and men play a big influence on my life. One of the shows that has impacted me greatly has been Sex and the City. As a writer myself, I found Carrie to be relatable in many ways. She's a free spirit, old soul, curly locked hair girl, with an impeccable taste in fashion.

This is how I feel everyday in Paris, and yes I might be wearing a striped shirt too right now

Naturally before my trip to Paris I had to watch Sex and the City before I left for my trip abroad. I noted all the outfits that she wore and used her life lessons as a guide for my adventure. Before I left for Paris I had to remind myself that life wasn't going to be like the movies or even an HBO show. No matter how relatable the content seemed, life could not be that great. Yes, I am an optimist but having small expectations leads to (in my opinion) more excitement and adventure.

Flashback to January when I moved to Paris. I'm living at a homestay and had google mapped where I live in Paris. I was told that there was a bar two blocks away from my place, perfect. And then came the moment when I received the perfect movie moment, which I get to live day after day here in Paris. I have the perfect movie view of the Eiffel tower, Arc de Triomphe, and Sacre Coeur. All in one balcony view. I had envisioned myself writing on my laptop, like Carrie, in a small bedroom without a view. And somehow I have found myself in Paris, with a balcony view right now typing on my laptop staring in awe at these monuments. It's no wonder I'm in love with this city more and more compared to the day before.

Of course day to day drama still happens. I have trouble understanding French electronics once and a while, But somehow I've found myself brushing these things as little life lessons and using the phrase "C'est la vie" as my mantra. So far it's worked. And let's hope for the world this new philosophy stays with me for as long as possible. It's weird not having to deal with the hustle and bustle of my day-to-day life in the States. Here, I get to explore the city (or stay in the cover of my bed sheets gazing out at the Eiffel tower) as much as a please. Yes, I do have some work to do, but the majority of it consists of having adventures like Carrie did in Paris.

And don't worry my fashionista friends, I'm showing that American's know how to rock style too. My closet is pretty much an abyss of black clothes with some sparkly pieces here and there popping out. I'm excited to show you all in the next posts what I've been wearing here in Paris. You really have the liberty to wear fabulous clothes here in Paris without feeling overdressed. I love the fact that I have to take the time to go out, making it a special event almost even if it is only finding a restaurant to eat lunch at with a friend.

So call me Carrie because really "I'm in Paris" and it doesn't seem like things could go wrong. I'm in love with this city and all that it has to offer. Here's to all the adventures that I will experience here and France and in the future.

Until next time,

xoxoxo

Sabrina

My study abroad adventure is coming closer. And with it, the final goodbyes have been continuing with friends and family. Last night over diner I made a comment to one of my girlfriends about my sentiments if leaving the country. "It feels as if people think I'm dying or something". Her response was unexpected : " you practically are".

So lets go back to me feeling as if I were dying. As of this month, people (friends and family alike) have been inviting me to places to go "one last time". As of, naturally, I will never return or forget what it was like to be around them and my neighborhood. Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE the people I have been fortunate to surround myself with. But the continuous phrase of "one last time" is leaving me with morbid thoughts and feelings.

Now lets go back to what my friend said. When she said that I was dying I stood baffled. She explained to me further as to why she felt like this. Without that one-on-one presence with her, it felt similar to one being dead. I understand this concept completely. Last year, three of my best friends studied abroad during the spring semester. When they parted their ways, I was left virtually alone. Needless to say, it was a difficult time. There were struggles that I had to face by myself without the individuals who once had stood beside me. Though I could contact them via social media, it was nothing like our conversations face-to-face. Not one bit. It's fascinating how in a sense, their study abroad experiences have shaped me to become more independent in the surroundings I thought I knew so well. Now, I'm embarking on a similar adventure as they are. I'm excited to see the world, but I understand (with great himbelness) that my lack presence will directly impact my loved ones while I'm abroad. It's a price that I have to pay. And I'm vainly willing to take a leap of faith. I want to get to know the world around me better. And in order to do this, I have to leave my love ones behind. I can only hope that my lack of presence will be a postive experience for my loved ones. Though I hope they miss me dearly, I sincerely hope that they grow as stronger individuals as well .

Sunday marks the beginning of a new journey for me. I'm excited and nervous to see what I will see and who I will become. So maybe in a sense by leaving I am"dying". My co-dependent self as to rely on one person, instead of others now. Hopefully I will evolve with grace into a new person.

Until next time,

I have three more days until I depart for la France and the wait is becoming unbearable. I have a mixture of both excitement and sheer nervousness about my study abroad adventure. Of course I'm living in the present rather than the future. Well.... sorta.

I've been catching up in my Netflix binging. Right now, I've just finished watching every episode if Charmed. Mind you I started to watch the series in October, but eight seasons if TV is hard to do. It's no wonder they call them TV marathons. As hard as watching TV on the couch with my sister may be, watching my friends study abroad experiences start before mine has become more difficult than I expected. With being done with work, packing, and having said my goodbyes, I'm pretty much am just waiting for the day when I can get my passport out. The weather here hasn't helped much either. It's -40 degree windchill and the snow keeps on pulling up. The idea of going outside and venturing does not sound enticing one but.

You can see why this is a waiting game for me. Social media hasn't been helping too much with my anticipation for travel. With everyone already gone, I am constantly being updated with people's adventures. Naturally, jealousy sets in. I wish my study abroad experience already started. I want to start my adventure! I want to discover the world! Questions such as why my study abroad experience being shorter than others has also started popping up into my head. What if there's not enough time to do the things I want to do? What will I be able to di? Will I make friends? Will I be studying ALL the time?

You can see how hard the waiting game can be. Boring , tiring, and well lazy. I do admit that it's nice to have this time to myself before I go study abroad. I haven't had this long of a break from school since my summer break on highschool. My only worry (back then and now) was who I was going to hang out with the next day.

So here goes for a couple more days of waiting. With the weekend coming up, I'm sure that the pace will quicken up. But until then it's time to relax and get as prepared as possible for my departure (how many to-do lists are too many to have?). And hopefully as my journey comes closer to a start, I can ease and become more relaxed. Afterall who wants to have reservations about going abroad? All that they'll do is hold me back.

Until next time,

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