So I guess I'm a real Parisian

Saturday, March 21, 2015

It finally hit me today: I’ve become sure of myself and that I am supposed to live in Paris. I didn’t realize that I had truly “evolved” until this afternoon when I met up with some of my friends from college. After a few hours I was in shock. I felt that there was nothing that I had in common with them anymore. Don’t get me wrong, they are great people. They’re nice and love to travel. We have similar core values and have bonded over the tribulations of school together. But something was different. No matter how many college parties we have been together or study sessions we endured, I felt disconnected from my college friends.

I had been talking to one of my friends in the program about feeling this way earlier this week. I’ve been worried about feeling different for the past two weeks before my parents came. His parents had just left and he explained to me that he too, had evolved and that his parents had noticed that he had become a different person.

So maybe this act of getting together with my college friends solidified the fact that I’m not meant to live in the Midwest. I just didn’t know though that I would feel so strongly about this. I’m Parisian, and I even introduced myself today as one with ease. Yes, I am an American in Paris, but I have never felt more sure in my life that I am meant to live here in this city until now.

Long story short, I bolted out as fast as possible. Which isn’t the kindest thing to do. But a part of me felt as if I was a burden to the group. I was a different person. And I didn’t want to hold them back from seeing Paris in the eyes of well….a tourist.

Last night I made a pact. After a wine bottle had been opened, I was sitting with my friends on my balcony overlooking the Eiffel tower and we swore that we would be back as roommates here next year. I full heartedly believe this will happen and can’t see myself living anywhere else in the world.

I thought that I wouldn’t be able to make friends or create connections in this town. Sure, studying abroad has created a somewhat “fake” community for me to live it, but it has made me realize that even in a new environment I can overcome my awkward phase and make real friendships that I believe in my heart will last a lifetime.  Cheesy I know. But it’s how I feel deep down to my core. I’m meant to live here in Paris, France. And I’m not going to settle for anywhere else.

Until next time, 

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