Yesterday we lost a great actor and man in our lives.

That's the question I've been asking myself lately. With the death of a friend last month I questioned if I had a "life purpose". Being someone who believes in God, I've always have had the belief that I was out on this earth for a reason. What this reason is yet, has been undetermined yet by me. And maybe that's just it. Maybe I'll constantly until the day I die be unaware of what my purpose in life was. Or vainly, purposes. Just twenty minutes ago on the highway I saw a car flip over. My heart stopped. People were trying to gage what had happened and if all the passengers in the cars effected were all right. I went into crisis humanitarian mode and called 911 immediately. It was simply all I could do. I had only witnessed the aftermath. Still shaken from what I saw today, I received a great reminder that God has a plan for me. That literally could have been my family in the car, smashed into pieces if we had been there a several seconds before hand. That's the crazy thing about this world we live in. You never know when it's going to be your last. And that honestly terrifies me. Vainly, I want to put a mark on the world. But what happens if I never do? What if some people don't get to have that chance or opportunity to make a positive impact on a larger scale?

I mentioned in the other post that I have been questioning and doubting my writing due to my lack of credibility (or perception). I want to elaborate on this.

I remember when I was a little girl I had a list of occupations I was going to be. Realistically I believed that I could be a firefighter, a singer, an actress, a writer, a magical witch, and doctor all  . And honestly, I still have that dream. I love working and at this point of my life trying to see what I want to do.

As you can see for my lack of posts blogging wasn't one of them. I thought that I was lacking something. Call my crazy but I thought that in order to be viewed as a "credible" author I had to have this resume of work and experience already on my plate. I realize now that this notion is impossible. I can't decide when I'm going to have life altering experiences and hope that I remember my exact sentiments 15 or 20 minutes later to write it on a blog post. Nor do I expect myself to want at times to write my sentiments out about all events on the blog. So here it goes. All or nothing. It's going to be a new blog. And honestly, you're going to see a new me. So get ready, get set, let's go!

I've always been an avid blog reader, looking for ideas and outlooks on life.
Pretty general I know
But what makes my blog different from there's?
For the past couple years, after numerous blogs have been deleted and re-created, I still haven't found an answer to this solution. Some blogs have a set goal at the beginning. There title tells you everything from purpose to the (hopeful) end result. Think of it like a science experiment in a way. For me, I decided to go in the opposite direction. Write what I know. Lately though, I haven't found the words or even the thoughts to transcribe correctly what I know. Maybe it's the college classes I'm taking right now that's affecting my judgment or skew on things in life. Maybe, I've always had these thoughts in my head but have never truly acknowledge them. I guess it's up to debate. I only know what I know (that sounds redundant, doesn't it?!?) based off of what others have told me is correct or incorrect. I guess you could say that I've been having an epiphany of sorts, a self-revelation. I'm realizing that I know what others have told me, but I haven't truly come to terms with how it has impacted me as a person.

And then the question of how does this impact my blog comes into play

If I want to impact others (persons) I need to know more about myself. How can this be achieved? How do I know that others, that have created an impact, know fully about themselves as people? I really don't. So maybe this is only me expressing my self-doubt and realizing how vain this blog is. I want to create an impact or have an impact. I want to be able to show that I am not the only one that has self-doubts but also has other sorts of emotions. Really, how many blogs does one need to see what is the latest and greatest fashion trend. Don't get me wrong, I love fashion and all that. There's a reason why I work in the industry I do. But I also love news. I guess that's why I made this blog into a collection of things because I wanted to show you guys how you don't have to have only one thing to be passionate about. You can have multiple. This blog isn't supposed to be me saying goodbye. I'm just telling you were I am in life. To be honest, I'm burnt out. I have all these ideas, all this energy (or had) but seem like I'm short-ended with it. I see all these amazing people in my life achieving their dreams and making an impact and wondering, with envy, when my time is going to come. Or better yet, if it will ever.

Now I'm not asking for pity. This blog has enough vain aspects about myself as it is. I'm asking you to understand and possibly guide me in the right direction for this blog. Assistance. I want to be able to help people. I want to be able to uplift, even if it is for only one person.

Everyone has that summer where they get to try out there dreams. And if you haven't I recommend that you should. Everyone deserves to try, even if its for a short period of time, to see and discover what they are truly passionate about. I think the problem for me is that I have found that over time I have a lot of passions for many different things (some which correlate better than others). One of the activities that I tried one summer during my high school career was modeling and fashion writing. Obviously I'm still obsessed (if not more) with fashion and well...writing :) This program allowed for a group of wonderful gals and I to create a fashion magazine (think Seventeen mixed with Minnesota haute couture). Needless to say the program was a great opportunity for me to learn what it was like to write pieces on current trends and predict future ones. It was crazy to see how accurate I was when it came to predicting what the future trends for that fall would be. I hadn't really looked back at this experience , or the pictures, in a while. I honestly forgot about how great of an experience it was and how it was really the start of me going into the internships I was a part of in my high school career. Just remember to do what you love at the end of the day. Money is also good though too (and important in order to maintain oneself) but happiness is just or greater in value and importance. Looking back at these pictures I realize that maybe I should go back into taking pictures and modeling. Maybe I'm being vain but I enjoy getting dolled up and posing for the camera. And of course writing. I'll leave you with this internal debate that is subjective for each and every one of you readers. Everyone's motives in life are different and I'm still trying to find a balance or equilibrium. I honestly feel like sometimes this blog is a bragging competition. That's not what my goal of the blog is. The goal for my blog, and please comment if I am wrong and the message is not getting across, is to explain to you-the readers-what is happening in my life. Looking back at these pictures I wish (I will never use the term regret) that I had seen myself as the lovely young (and sexy) lady that I see in these pictures. I wish that I would have taken the thoughts of others and the media out of my head. What stopped me then and still now and hearing others telling me that what I want to do isn't possible because of different factors. I'm not trying to have you pity me. No, I'm stronger than that and definitely do not have believe in sob stories. Instead I want people to reflect on the importance of understanding what their motives for acting are. Think about that while you complete your daily routine. Are you doing this because society tells you to or because you want to?

May the odds ever be in your favor and may you balance out your life completely,

Sabrina

 School has been...well school.
      Very descriptive I know. I'm learning how to balance having some fun (yes it can be possible I've realized) as well as working hard. My side projects are going well ( I'm almost done writing my book!) and I honestly cannot wait to share with you guys all of it. The other day, I took some self portraits of myself. I think self-portraits are always a good thing to do every now and then as a reminded that as a person I am always evolving. Whether through style or personality, or both, I am an every changing person. Taylor Momsen once said in an interview that your face is like a canvas and that make-up was a reflection of self. I 100% believe this 'philosophy'. How I present myself reflects both my presentation of how I'm feeling for the day as well as how I am productive wise. And being productive is something that I can always use bonus points on every now and then. Especially while in college. I hope that everyone is doing well and that you all stay safe and happy :) Remember to do what you love while also staying productive.

With Love,
Sabrina The PrincessFusion




For more pictures check out www.blogger.com/sabrinakennellyphotography

Nothing really major has happened since I've lasted posted the videos. Last week was my first week back in college (yay spring semester!), so I've been pretty busy getting back into the rut of things. This month I will be taking part in some amazing opportunities.
#1) I'm writing a book
     Because why not. IT will mainly consists of my journals that I have had from 2004-2010. It's weird re-reading these journals and seeing what kind of an evolution I have gone through in the past years.  I honestly think it's better in life to be an open book (in my case it will be literally rather than just metaphorically). I want to share with the world my experiences, both the good and the bad, in order for others-specifically young girls-that they are not alone.
#2) I'm doing an art documentary.
     More about that in a future post. I will be filming tomorrow for that.
#3) I'm focusing on photography
     I really want to get back into the swing of things. So in order to do that, I am doing a photo shoot for Express Yourself Clothing in the next coming weeks. I think it's important to remember and have that time (even if it is for only a few hours) to do what you're passionate about. Photography is one of them and I am always excited to take pictures of amazing and talented people.

And I think that's all. Writing it down makes it seem like I'm not doing that much but hey, I'm in school! I want to add more music into my schedule but I don't know at the moment. I hope everyone is staying warm (I know that there is a struggle for me to stay both cute and comfortable right now) in this TERRIBLE weather.
To gain some sanity and to kindle you up I'll leave you with some pictures of my adventure last week with my mother. Because you know, it's always nice to look at pictures of the cold weather indoors-right?!?










Love you all as always,

Sabrina

This week has sure been crazy!
I recorded a video, started filming a documentary (eek!), entered into a competition for the yougeneration (which you should defiantly watch after reading this) and have a lot more that cannot be discussed about until -TOMORROW! I'm so excited and nervous to have you tag along! For right now I will leave you with my recent Youtube cover as well as my entry for the You Generation Street Style. It turned out to be more like indoor style because it's so freaking cold here (like negative 8 or something). I hope that you and the judges appreciate my effort in trying to show that we are stylish while also practical in Minnesota.

Until next time!

Sabrina, ThePrincessFusion