Another day, another update

Tuesday, April 05, 2016

Hello fabulous blog readers!

   Life lately has been very emotional. For those of you who know me well (virtually or irl) I consider myself to be a hard worker. My blog has been a way for myself not only to write about my favorite hot-spots but also as a means of therapy. As I mentioned in a previous post, life after graduation has been very rocky. Since the last post I have officially hit the 100 mark of applying for jobs, been wait listed for what I considered to be my dream program, and have been receiving rejection email after rejection email. So yes, life hasn't been too magical lately.

   So why continue blogging? One of my first thoughts after hearing that I was wait listed for a program I hoped to get into I contemplated just stopping everything that I loved doing. One of the things that makes me happy is blogging. It probably means I'm vain right? Probably. But it also means that I have a joy for writing too. For a long time I struggled with blogging and finding the perfect 'niche' to fit into to. What I realized though, after 5 years of blogging, was one thing: how could I write about one niche for my blog if I don't fit into one category myself? After all, this blog is supposed to be about my personal life- all the traveling, fashion obsessions, posts about Nick Jonas, and college rants. I would consider it to be a disservice not only to my readers, but to myself, to not continue to write about the hardships of life. Because in order to experience the good in life, it is necessary to experience the nasty gritty parts as well.

It's time for a fresh perspective. I truly believe that there is a reason for everything. Though I don't have that much of a clue what the reason is for me being on this journey right now, I have begun to learn about myself. One thing that I noticed, especially after being wait listed in the program, was how easily influenced I was from social media. So I did something that most aspiring social media gurus would never imagine doing- I deleted my social media apps. ...Ok maybe not all of them, but I deleted the majority of them (I left Snapchat on my phone because watching Demi Lovato cannot have a negative impact). Though I don't think that I'll be off of my personal social media channels for long- it has been therapeutic and has shown light on characteristics I didn't want to admit that I had. With graduation fast approaching for many of my peers going on Facebook now a days seems to be status after status of friends accepting job offers. Of course at the end of the day I am truly happy for them. But another part of me is pissed. My grades are better than there's, I've worked for 5 years compared to them, this seems impossible. Jealous thoughts such as these were popping up into my head because of the situation that I am currently in. It was embarrassing to realize that a stupid social media site could have that much of an impact on me. I'm a grown woman that somehow became an unsure little girl at the sight of several words.

This might not be a permanent solution,but it is one that is helping me right now stay sane during this trivial time. It's humbling to remember that I have a great support system that will be there for me during the fabulous parts and the not so haute couture moments. Whether or not staying off of my personal account on Facebook will be a permanent thing for me during this time, it has been refreshing not to depend on social media for validation from others and most importantly, myself.

Thank you to all that continue to follow my life journey,

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