College life

1:21 PM

And so junior year has begun....
    I'm really not one to complain virtually. I'm all about doing that in real life. I don't feel that there's a necessity to dump all your issues out to the world unless there's a common bond where everyone share's your frustration. I think that school problems are one of those "blessed" categories that everyone has the right to be frustrated with and complain about it as much as their heart desires.
   Now before I go on I want to put into account that I find higher education to be helpful. I am grateful for it, and the opportunities that have come to me (and hopefully more in the future) because of it.
  That being said, how the process works is frustrating the hell out of me. Here's a list
#1) Don't work: I hear many teachers preach about prioritizing our time here at school. My sole dedication should be on my homework they say. How am I supposed to focus on homework if I can't afford this school? I honestly think that it's a balancing act. I don't want to come out of school not having the resources I need to maintain an ok-life. I realize that debt is inevitable. And that in itself is a problem.
2) At the end of the day, when I graduate from this institution all that I'll receive is two pieces of paper: In one hand I will have my diploma, and in the other will be my freshly printed resume. These two papers define me. Just like my test scores, I have to go to big institutions and cross my fingers that the other applicants don't have as many extracurricular, GPA, and majors as me. At the end of the day,  its a survival of the fittest. And that makes me scared. After all my hard work that I have worked into my work could still not be good enough?!?
3) No one's perfect. And this is what pisses me off. When I got into college I was told right away that I would be a great candidate for graduate school. Wait- you mean that I have to stay in school for an additional 4 years? Where am I supposed to get money for that, let alone the energy and motivation to want to invest my life into reading textbooks, writing papers, and studying for tests?
4) The extra expenses. This is what pisses me off the most. No one tells you about the extra stuff. The study abroad, the costs before you study abroad, ect. As someone who is trying to graduate early so that I can pay all of these expenses and find a job BEFORE my job market fills up in May I find it to be frustrating that my college doesn't want to help me graduate at the date that works best for me. Classes are only offered in my major once a year if I'm lucky. And if they're offered more than once? Summer tuition prices added on top of it.

I love college too, but right now I'm very frustrated with it also. It's a love-hate-relationship as the rom coms would describe it. Right now I'm leaning more towards the hate. Tomorrow it will probably be the exact opposite. And that's one of the benefits about college. Other than the due dates, you have no idea what to expect from tomorrow.

I realize that I am more fortunate than others. I am a middle class white women. I have parents that are helping pay for college. And still, I struggle.  I work two jobs and have taken the maximum amount of credits each semester. I sleep little and work a lot. My Friday nights have become non-existent. I'm waiting for this epiphany moment for when I will not have to be stressed out any more and yet there always seems to be another project piled up on my lap. This is good, because without things to do I'd go crazy. I wish that I could value the education that I am receiving more. I wish that I, and my peers that have worst adversities than myself, didn't have to worry or question where are money was going. I wish that I could be happy with the fact that I have been given once-in- a life time opportunities because I am enrolled in college.

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